How wonderful it felt to have an "adult" who valued our opinion; thought we were not just cute but interesting. I was wearing a Bundeswehr tank top I'd gotten at an Army supply store and faded jeans, a thrift shop crucifix around my neck. But as we sat there together in the sunshine, the wine buzzing my head, I suddenly felt … With real life, however, and memory especially, it is harder to keep things so neat and organized. In the first, I snuck out of the house with a guy friend who lived down the street. My friend came back, we went home and I slid back into my bed. The second incident I remember happened when he was giving me a ride home. As I got older, however, the more I realized that my experience was not an uncommon one.
My best friend was 14 when she fell in love with a 21 year old. My friend's older boyfriend was close with a guy I'll call T. My mother, spying him from the front window, asked me how old he was."I don't know," I said. After awhile, my friend and her boyfriend disappeared, leaving T. Many memories remain fuzzy, but incidents such as that day in the forest remain in crisp detail. It was late and my parents were asleep as we drove over to the house where T. At some point, my friend left to go somewhere, and for whatever reason I didn't go with him. Maybe he only stepped out to go to the store down the block. This was after the night at his house, though how much later I cannot say. It seemed just about every woman I knew had a similar story, a time when wanting attention meant getting the wrong kind entirely.
There was something especially cool about being friends with them. ""So, no normal 20 year old wants to hang out with someone who is 15. Stay away from him."This was the sort of thing that always led to my leaving the room in a teary huff, maintaining loudly that she Just Didn't Understand. One Saturday, the guys planned a picnic in a nearby forest park. Even worse, I couldn't say why I didn't want to go with him.
We were still at an age where our parents insisted on treating us like children. Once again, she was treating me like a child, someone unable to make her own decisions. It didn't seem like such a big deal, as my best friend was doing nothing sneaking around to be with her boyfriend. Suddenly, I wasn't that scared, invisible girl anymore, watching from the sidelines. I remember it was a gorgeous fall day, crisp and cool, and the first time I'd had Brie cheese and red wine. All I had was my instinct and discomfort — a bad gut feeling. When I write novels, there is always a clear trajectory: the beginning, middle, climax, and end. In the initial years following, I never really talked about this with anyone other than my high school girlfriends and various therapists.
I spend most of my day locked in my cell but over the years it's become normal.
I've learned that when you're going through hell all you can do is keep on going.
I enjoy listening to music, working out and I like to read / write.
There was safety in the shadows, but also a kind of darkness. " my friend whispered as we walked back to the car with the guys a few steps ahead. "Like we were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, or something.""Well," she said slowly. I'd completely accepted her romance with an older guy as normal, even destined. When he wasn't upset, he was in kindness overdrive, buying me things: a gold necklace with a floating heart, stuffed animals. I'm 28 years old, Italian and French mix, 5'7" with hazel eyes and covered in tattoos. If you are into funny, free spirited and non-judgmental men.. I look forward to getting your letters and learning more about you. I've spent almost my entire life in prison, Maximum security prisons and the Special Handling Unit. I'm looking for someone to get to know and see where our conversations takes us. I've been inside now since 2005 and was looking forward to being free back in Jan / 2017 but because of a stabbing I received 8 more years.I also think I'm fairly mature for my age (great career, nice car, house, well respected in the community, etc).So anyways, I posted a profile on a dating site just to see what would happen, and I've gotten quite a few messages.